I grew up in a family of mostly girls. Girls were normal to me and familiar. I have a half brother, but he didn't live with me and I wasn't around him that much except for certain times when we needed each other and pulled together for a season. Don't get me wrong - I'm BLESSED to have him. He's honestly one of my favorite people...and that's a hard list to make! :)
Beyond him, I had almost all female cousins (only 1 male). I spent TONS of time working with girls and women in Girl Scouts and our church. I was, for all practical purposes, a girly girl who liked to go camping but beyond that really had solace in makeup, hairspray, fashion, and didn't mind being 5'10" with long blonde hair and blue eyes.
When I found out our first child was going to be a boy, I was heartbroken. I didn't KNOW enough about boys!!! I knew about girls!!! I could wrap the vast majority of males on the planet around my finger in seconds flat...but a BOY...a child??? That I had to RAISE??? So that another woman wouldn't do the same to him??? I was absolutely petrified. The responsibility to raise a man who would grow to become a leader in his family and quite possibly his community was immense.
I played it off to friends and family as being disappointed over "girly" things but the truth was, I was scared to death that I had no idea how to raise a boy.
Of course, we loved him from before he was born. I would rock him to sleep and tell him he "was my sun, my moon, my stars, and my sky." As he grew up to do more and more "boy" things I fell further in love with him. His taste for adventure, when he claims it is insatiable, just like mine. His love for people is immense, just like mine. He has a heart that there are still days now that he's 8 years old when I'm running for the bathroom to grab a kleenex and cry quietly because he just blows me away with his compassion and kindness.
We have more in common than I ever imagined possible...and yet he is SO much like his Dad. That's a good thing. :) I always will catch myself saying a variation of "I'm taking care of my boys" and giving them both hugs. They aren't just father and son, they really are the best of friends. No matter what they're up to, they're two peas in a pod.
Then there are the additional benefits - since I'm Mom and the only girl, I get to be the diva of my home. Not in a "tv" type diva way, but all the fluffy stuff is mine. I don't have little people swiping my clothes, borrowing my makeup, or throwing tantrums about fashion. I don't have to worry about necklines of what my son wears - he's content in whatever's available, clean or not. My nail polish is ALL mine. I don't have to teach my daughter to keep her skirt down in public or how to keep her legs crossed in public.
I get to be the diva. I get to be the woman. I get to be "babied" in a way that I don't know I would be if I was the mother of a girl. I like that. :) lol
My husband and son open doors for me. They worry over me and make sure I have the things I need. They show me, in their little identical peas in a pod way, that I'm Mom and I'm important because I'm Mom. I get to watch my husband correct my son on things like asking a lady her age...which always makes me smile and giggle. Yeah - this "only girl in the house" stuff has it's perks! :)
When I found out I was pregnant - SO many people were in the "it's a boy" or "it's a girl" camps. I told everyone I didn't care.
Truth is I was petrified again. I didn't want a girl. I was scared to DEATH to have a girl. To teach her modesty, to raise her in a world that is showing her entirely too early how to be the exact opposite of a lady, to have to fight that each and every day tooth and nail to teach her to go against the grain. She would have ended up a cloistered nun by 5. I couldn't have done it much longer.
I didn't want the fights over clothes. I didn't want the arguments over makeup and appropriate behavior. I just didn't want to have to do it. My boy has been EASY compared to the females I grew up with...and I've come to cherish that deep within my heart!
And to be honest, I didn't want to give up household diva status to someone under 2 feet tall. :)
Because raising a child of your sex gives you a mirror of yourself...and while I KNOW my husband can live up to the scrutiny, I'm not 100% sure I can.
So yesterday, when at 8 months pregnant we finally found out it was a boy, we were all ecstatic. My son happily exclaimed to the ultrasound tech that it "must be his lucky day!" For the record, we would have been ecstatic for a girl too...but a big part of me heaved a sigh of relief. I get to retain my household diva status. I get to be the woman of my home and keep my throne.
Keep your pretty dresses and your fluffy hair. Someday my daughter-in-law can bring me back into fashion if she cares. I'm glad to have my sons and the amazing joy they bring me. There just aren't words for it.